Family Mediation-How Mediation Can Help After Divorce

Mediation is effective for resolving issues that come up after your divorce is final. Issues that come up after the divorce decree is final are called "post-judgment" issues or matters.

The most common issues after a divorce are modification of child support, custody, visitation, and alimony. But remember, you and your former spouse can agree to mediate any problems arising from a divorce settlement agreement or divorce decree.

Since division of property was dealt with during the divorce, many post-judgment disputes revolve around issues related to children if you and your former spouse have them in common. The most common of these issues are child support modification, visitation, and custody changes. Regardless of the exact issue concerning children, mediation is usually a very good vehicle to resolve them.

What are the benefits to you of mediation for post-judgment disputes? The same as for using divorce mediation, including more control of the outcome, flexibility in choosing a solution, lower or no legal costs, confidentiality, and certainty of outcome.

If you and your former spouse decide to fight it out in court, then you're back in the same emotional and financial roller coaster that is usually associated with a litigated divorce.

Just like in divorce mediation, you can go to post-judgment mediation without using an attorney. You simply choose a mediator, and make arrangements to schedule mediation.

If you and your former spouse had a litigated divorce, and are still sore at the process and the expense of litigating the first time around, consider using mediation first for post-judgment disputes. You can still use the services of a lawyer to review any mediated settlement agreement before you sign it. But it will be cheaper for the lawyer to review the agreement than to represent you in a post-judgment legal action.

Even paying for the mediation is the same. Each of you can pay one-half or you both can agree that one of you will pay for the entire mediation.
In summary, post-judgment mediation can help you in the same way as mediation for divorces. Request more information on divorce mediation.

Vivian Rodriguez helps parties in family disputes workout creative solutions to lessen the emotional and financial impact of expensive and long litigation. She is a Florida Supreme Court-certified family mediator offering dispute resolution services in Broward, Collier, Lee and Miami-Dade Counties, FL. Se Habla Espanol. For more information on mediation and its benefits to you and your family in your divorce or other family dispute, even before you start the legal process, visit http://fldivorcemediation.com/. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vivian_Rodriguez

3 Tips to Save a Marriage and Stop a Divorce

With the rising rate of divorce in the world we start asking a lot of questions about marriage. Why did people stay together more in previous years unlike now? Did our parents and grandparents and know something the current generation is lacking or is it a social phenomenon we cannot truly control in a world that is changing so fast it is hard to keep our relationships working as they should? While these questions are endlessly debated the truth is marriage can be hard work and I do not think that has ever not been the case. For those that want to defy the statistics and stop a divorce that may be coming here are 3 tips to save a marriage that many people may think is counter intuitive but they actually work!

1. Do not Reassure

Do you constantly find yourself saying things like "I will change I swear!" or "It will all be ok, it will ok!". Do you think these throw away lines are actually going to change their mind? If you say you are going to change but have not changed in the course of your marriage will they believe you even if it is what you think they want to hear? You intentions may be completely pure and honest but if you are at the stage where divorce is on the horizon times are so desperate you need to realize that actions speak louder than words and that your spouse is probably not receptive to much that you say. Last minute platitudes sound weak when your partner is looking for strength. So resist the urge to say something or make promises and instead just do the things you need to without paying lip service to them.

2. Avoid emotional blackmail

While this may sound like common sense so many couples both indulge is trying to make the other feel bad by manipulating emotions in a hope it will shock them out of their way of thinking or just out of petty vengeance. If you want to save your marriage you need to disengage from emotional battle which simply does not work. Probing at soft raw emotional areas such as children and of your love when couples are hostile defiantly gets a reaction but they are usually resentful that you take such a tactic and will end up pushing them away more. One big change in thinking is that you should not say "I love you", these are powerful words in any language but when both you and your partners emotions are in such a whirl it can be misconstrued and is better left for a time when things can be mended and those words can be said with a clear head and a clear heart and can be taken the right way.

3. Do not argue

This is the big one that most people have serious problems with. Arguments are common when divorce is on the way and the need to defend yourself when verbally attacked while you are angry and distraught is very high. Talking back and launching counter attacks are not going to save your marriage even if you think you are right or your partner is badly misinformed about something arguing leads to more arguing and builds barriers between couples that eventually become insurmountable and a divorce is certain. The answer is simple but can be very painful for a while; Do not argue! Do not talk back, do not try to fix it and do not raise hostility levels. But how do you fix a problem without fixing it? By stopping the endless cycle of arguments and lowering hostility levels. If you do not defend yourself you will find your partner will not attack you, it is hard to shoot at an unarmed person especially one that you love and very often they start defending you! The bottom line is if you feel you have to win they will feel like they cannot lose and it never ends except in divorce. So lay your ego aside and let love come back into the relationship on a clean slate.

I hope you can use these tips to save a marriage to get back the love and connection you once had and avoid a messy and agonizing divorce. Everyone has a chance to save themselves from being another sad statistic as long as we know what really needs to be done in a relationship for the long term.

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Stepping Back - How to Save Marriage From Divorce

Many of us believe that after getting a divorce is suggested, there is no way out of it. While there is little you can do to stop the legal process, there is a lot you can do to convince the person you are still interested in the relationship and get them to rethink the divorce. Although divorce can be an emotionally stressful time, it does not signal the end of everything and you can still save the marriage from divorce.

One of the most important things that many people forget is the simple addition of romance back into their lives. With stress coming from work or kids or because there just are not enough hours in the day, romance comes last and this is the reason many marriages end in divorce. It is important to take time to remember one another and bring the romance back into your relationship. If you have to, set a schedule and make sure it includes intimacy.

It is important to remember not to place all the problems of the marriage on one person. There are two people in the relationship and it will take both of you to save the marriage from divorce. You both need to discuss problems in the marriage as well as how to fix them. The flow of communication always needs to be there. It is important to remember you are a couple and both of you need to work on the relationship and make a commitment to change.

Communication is the most important part of saving your marriage from divorce. You cannot expect your spouse to work on something if they do not know it is bothering you. Taking the time to talk to each other openly and honestly is crucial to a successful marriage. Keeping problems bottled up is one of the main reasons people argue and so, by allowing your spouse to know the things that are bothering you, you give them an opportunity to change and show that the marriage is important to them as well.

Since many people believe that divorce is the end, they feel that professional help is not necessary and the marriage will continue to suffer. If you go into these discussions thinking nothing will work, then nothing will, it is important to be optimistic and believe things can change. If you need help, do not be afraid to get it. Many couples do not know where to begin when trying to solve problems and marriage counselors can help save your marriage from divorce.

Going through a divorce is an unsure time but, you can still save your marriage from divorce after the papers are issued. Simply learning to be considerate of one another and taking the time to enjoy each other's company can make all the difference.

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